Animal Sex World Records

Animals

Llama sex

Suicide Sex

When a male bee mates with the queen bee, his penis will break off inside her when it tries to pull away. He then expires after all his intestines come out. His penis then acts like a plug that keeps the sperm inside the queen. Over the next five years, she will have the capability to fertilize approximately two million eggs.

Penis Auto Pilot

A bats penis is pivoted at the base and can move back and forth by itself eliminating the need for traditional male thrusting.

Penis Corkscrew

Pigs have a corkscrew shaped penis usually about 18 inches long. It literally screws into the female who has a complimentary shaped vagina. The female’s vagina rhythmically contracts until the male ejaculates about a pint of semen. Ducks are also known to have corkscrew penises.

Self Service Blow Job

Male chimpanzees can and do perform oral sex on themselves especially when there are no females around who are interested in sex. He lets the females know he's in the mood by flicking his erect penis while staring at a potential partner. I saw some humans using the same technique when I was riding on a Los Angeles bus.

Is his or hers bigger?

Female Howler monkeys and Female Spotted Hyena’s have a clitoris the same size as the male’s penis in their species.

Real Anal Sex

The Male ostrich's penis will appear when he is aroused, by protruding out of his anus.

A real boner!

Dogs, raccoons, seals, walruses, and whales have a bone in their penises. In colonial years tailors used raccoon’s penis bones to rip seams.

Let's stay together

When a canine’s penis enters the female dog’s vagina, the tip fills with blood and swells to a size similar to a light bulb. At the same time, the female’s vagina constricts around the base; which in affect, locks the two lovers together for anywhere from a few minutes up to an hour.

Will You Accept My Stone

Male Adele penguins roll a stone toward a female’s feet. If she accepts the stone, they will mate.

Longest Sperm

The Drosephila Bifurca fruit fly has a sperm which is 18 ½ times longer than his body.

Longest Penis to Body Ratio

Although the Alpine Banana Slug’s body is only a mere 6 inches, the males have a penis, which measures over 32 inches. That is a penis 542% longer than the body.

Giving Head

The male land snail has a penis about the length of his body located on his head. Some snails only mate once, but that 1 session can last as long as 12 hours!

Back-Stabber

The bedbug has a sharp pointed penis which he uses as a sword and stabs the female bedbug in the back with and deposits the sperm. The males have to do this because they are unable to reach the female's vagina when they mount. Once the sperm are injected into her body, they lie dormant until the bedbug sucks some blood. Once she is full of blood, the sperm swim to the ovaries. If a female mates more than 6 times she will likely die from the wounds.

Real Anonymous Sex

The female threadworm pokes a hole in a vegetable with her vagina and deposits an egg. The male comes by later and finds a hole he likes and fills the hole containing the egg with his sperm.

The Ultimate Perfume

Female moths have a pheromone which male moths can smell from 5 miles away.

Spiders

The male spider does not have a penis, but instead squeezes sperm out of an opening in his abdomen onto his web. He then scoops up the sperm with one of his legs and deposits it on a females web. He then quickly crawls away because the female will eat him if she gets a chance.

Spoon Penis

The Male Damselfly spoons out any sperm he finds in a female damselfly with his penis before depositing any of his own.

2 is better than 1

Snakes have two penises. When they breed, their penis turns inside out and forms a grooved organ with barbs (this holds the male and female together) unlike cylinder shaped penises. Snakes require two penises so they can mate on the left or right side of a female snake. Some female snakes can then store the sperm and effectively get pregnant for up to five years after one sexual encounter.

Light My Fire

Male fireflies use light to attract females.

Bite Me

The female Bristle Worm will bite off the male’s genitals and swallow them. They later pass through her digestive track and fertilize her eggs.

I love a good prick

When a male porcupine is interested in a female, he points his erect penis at a female about 6 feet away and urinates on her. The females dislike this and will growl or snap at the male until he stops. The male will then approach the female while stroking his penis and if the female is receptive, she will fold down all her quills and mating will ensue. This is how it works in an ideal porcupine world but sometimes inexperienced females won’t always lower all the quills, making it dangerous for the horny male.

The Ultimate Gigolo

The male starworm is very small compared to the female starworm. So small in fact that he spends his life inside a female’s vagina with his only purpose in life to fertilize her eggs as they are released.

Women's Revenge

Not only do male seahorses lack a penis, they also are the ones that end up pregnant. It is the females who have a penis and insert about 600 eggs into the male's pouch where his sperm will fertilize them.

Pregnant From Oral Sex!

The female African mouthbrooder releases her eggs than gathers them with her mouth. The Male African mouthbrooder actually has a red spot on his anal fin that looks like an egg. When the female is tricked and tries to gather his fake egg, he releases sperm into her mouth.

How about a hand job

Male Octopuses have no penis, instead they use one of their arms to hold the sperm and deposit it in the female's vagina, which is conveniently located up her nose. Females that do not want the sperm deposited have been known to bite off the sperm-holding arm.

The Male Blanket Octopus

Female octopuses in this species are generally 40,000 times the weight and 100 times the size of male octopuses. To put it in perspective, the females are about the size of a person and the males are about the size of a silver dollar. Males don't become large because their only purpose in life is to impregnate females and then die. So instead of wasting their energy on growing they instead spend their time looking for a female. When they find a female, they fill one of their tentacles with sperm, rip it off and give it to a female. The male dies shortly after. The female then saves the arm until she lays her eggs. Once her eggs are laid, she gets the torn off arm and squeezes out the sperm like a tube of toothpaste over the eggs to fertilize them.

Other octopus species actually have a sperm-containing arm that breaks away from the body and searches for a female to impregnate on its own. After depositing the sperm the arm finally dies dangling from the female’s body.

Red White and Blue

Male mandrills have red white and blue genitals.

How Dare You

Vultures are known to pair bond for life; in fact, groups of vultures have been known to attack unfaithful vultures.

Just a Nibble

Ocelots bite each other on the head to arouse each other.

You have the most beautiful eyes

Crabs have sex face to face.

Do it till you Drop

Male African antelopes mate until they pass out from sheer exhaustion.

How Long Do You Last?

Stick insects have been known to continuously breed for 10 weeks.

So Many Men, So Little Time

Female Chimpanzees have been observed having mating with 8 different male chimpanzees within 15 minutes.

Inter Species

Your pet dog is not the only one who wants to mate with other species. The dolphin has been observed attempting sex with turtles, sharks, seals and humans. They also use each others blow holes for a form of oral sex.

Most Sexual Primate

Bonobos, a primate that is actually one of man’s closest relatives, commonly mates male to female, male to male, female to female and older to younger. Sex is used by the Bonobo all day long and is as casual as shaking someone’s hand. Unlike other primates (except human) Bonobos have been known to have sex face to face. Bonobos are an endangered species with only 5,000 to 25,000 of them living in the Congo region of Africa. Bonobos look a little like Chimpanzees the difference being that Bonobos have longer legs and smaller shoulders but with a thinner neck and are more slender looking than Chimpanzees. Another difference between Chimpanzees is the fact that there is no male dominance. The females have more control. Chimpanzees and humans are both known for occasional violence while the horny Bonobos rarely fight.

Primate with largest penis to body size

Human 5.877 inches / 14.9 cm

Primate with smallest penis to body size

Orangutans 1 1/2” / 3.81 cm

2nd Place - Gorillas 2” / 5.08 cm

Largest Penis to Body Ratio

Alpine Banana Slugs

542% X their body length

They are about 6 inches/ 15 cm long and have a 32-inch / 81 cm penis

No Penis Needed

Only 3 percent of male bird species have penises. The rest have a cloaca. The male rubs his cloaca on the female's cloaca and it is up to the female to draw up the sperm for storage. Unlike other animals, most female birds are always in complete control on whom or who doesn't get her pregnant. It makes sense that birds wouldn't have a penis because it would probably interfere with their aerodynamic design for flight. Imagine a bird flying with a penis flapping in the wind.

Animal Penis Measurements:

Humpback Whale 9 feet / 2.74 meters

Sperm Whale 9 feet / 2.74 meters

Elephant 6 feet / 1.83 meters

Bull 3 feet / 91 cm

Wild Boar 1 ½ feet / 46 cm

Horse 2 1/2 feet / 76 cm

Walrus 2 feet / 61 cm

Rhinoceros 2 feet / 61 cm

Pig 1 1/2 feet / 46 cm

Seal 1 foot 3 inches / 99 cm

Tiger 11 inches / 27.94 cm